can't believe it's december.....
i cannot believe it is december already. a year ago today i was packing, selling, and donating all my stuff to move back to the west coast. time sure does fly by. maybe it's the beer i just had that’s kicking (i’m a lightweight) or maybe i am feeling nostalgic, but damn. i miss my little apartment and the east coast (only sometimes tho). it is always such a trip to think about the fact that i lived out there for 5 years, obviously i visited california whenever i could but i always felt like i was split in between two places. like two homes. but at the same time the two lives i had never quite merged into one and they always felt disconnected.
on the east coast my life seemed to be moving or constantly changing, but then i would come visit the west coast and that felt at times like things didn’t change at all. not in a bad way, maybe in a familiar way. like the place i call home still has that same chipped paint in the corner and there’s the same cross hanging on the wall that’s slightly crooked. but at the same time my parents have one more wrinkle on their face and they don’t move the same way they used to. and my siblings are a little older and have new things going on in their lives. the homies too are there. some of them have the same jobs and some have gotten new relationships, but they’ve grown up in some ways. but they are also the same people i have grown to love and care about.
the physical space too, new restaurants, some of the same people working there, some new folks. some of my favorite places that have closed down. so there are things that have changed. my heart has always been out here in the west coast and people have mentioned how i am so much happier over here. i do miss the east coast, my homies out there, my favorite coffee shop where i would work, my favorite places to eat, and the trail by my apartment that i loved to walk with my dog in the morning and evening. i know some of those things do change. everything changed right? everything changes and nothing is forever. people grow, places change, and nothing is certain in life. in fact life is full of uncertainty. like james baldwin said, “the world will change because it has to change.”
damn, i’m tearing up in this public food court. alright, sorry to have gotten all emo on y’all. it’s just that my life is much different than it was a year ago. not what i had pictured but i also didn’t have a set image of what it was going to look like or what i even wanted it to look like. it’s changed for the better i think. but i have lost friendships, my last grandparent, and so many other things in the process. i am surrounded by the people i love though and that does make me happy. a year ago today, i was crashing on my friend umi’s couch bc my lease was up in my apartment and we didn’t hit the road until a week after. i saw so many things once we started our road trip. the main things i wanted to see was white sands (again) and visit a waffle house LMAO what can i say i’m a simple guy who likes simple joys in life. anyway, i did hella driving — we started on december 9th and got to our final destination on december 22nd. what a crazy time.
not sure how to end this now that i’ve gotten all emo, but damn. time sure does fly by. i’ve also had a lot of good things come my way btw! there is happiness in the unknown. as i was typing this i saw 444 so i guess i’m where i’m supposed to be. anyway, enjoy the playlist!
about the playlist.
this weeks playlist is mostly songs i have been into, some are old, and some are new. some are also songs that some of y’all have shared with me <3 some of my favorites are Love Will Tear Us Apart by PJ Harvey and Tim Phillips, Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye by Leonard Cohen, Love Letters by Ketty Lester, and Nowhere Near by Yo La Tengo.
TRACKS (play on shuffle)
Antes de que apague el sol by Cancamusa
Image In My Mind by Asi Kemera
Vagos lagos by Juana Molina
December by illuminati hotties and Hopelessly Devoted To You
La Tijera by LA LOM
Landslide by Baby Rose
passenger side by mxmtoon
Love Will Tear Us Apart by PJ Harvey and Tim Phillips
Sunflower ‘24 by November Ultra
I Wanna Get Her by South Trees
Oh Lori by Kidsnot$aints
Y o Y by Born at Midnite
Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye by Leonard Cohen
Love Song by Devendra Banhart and Helado Negro
Love Letters by Ketty Lester
Nowhere Near by Yo La Tengo